Reem
My name is Reem, and I’m currently a sophomore at The Preuss School UCSD. I am the eldest daughter of a single mother, with two younger brothers. Although I was born in San Diego, California, my family originally came from Somalia, seeking refuge in the U.S. from an ongoing civil war.
Living as a Somali-American is one of my largest struggles in life, because I’m constantly in a crisis with my identity. I find that my culture, not only as a Somali, but as a Muslim, don’t fit with the norms of American culture. It’s a battle I face daily; as I try to assimilate into American culture, I’m scared I’ll lose my heritage, but by not fitting in, I’m scared to be an outcast within society.
Despite my constant struggle with trying to preserve my identity and trying to fit into America's mold, I know that no matter the effort, I’ll never fit quite right. Even if I’m up to date with all the latest fashion, the one thing that will never come into trend is my hijab. My hijab is a symbol of my relationship with Islam, and it’ll forever be the one thing that makes me evidently different. It would be a lie for me to say that I’ve never grappled with the idea of taking it off, but taking it off would be me losing the biggest part of my identity, which I’m trying so hard to protect.
Another hardship that heavily impacts my life is the absence of my father. I don’t recollect much of my birth father, so he seems like a stranger to me—a man I know, but know nothing about. I often contemplate what life would be like with him here. Would things be easier for my whole family? Unfortunately, my father’s choices in life keep this question unanswered, as he now resides in Somalia, having been deported after serving five years in jail.
Despite my father’s absence, another figure was able to fill the gap, my grandfather. He was the person who I called baba (dad), and was the inspiring male figure I was able to idolize. He was the patriarch of my family having had seven children with my grandmother. He was our seed; the root of the tree which brought all of our leaves to existence. That is why his passing in December was a catastrophic event for everyone in my family.
The trials of my race, ethnicity, religion, and even the absence of my father figure have been eased by the hands of my mother. My mother and I have always been close as she had me in her early twenties. She’s not strict and has an easygoing temperament, so as most would say she's a, “cool mom”. Having to raise me and my brothers alone, my mother was the only source of income. I had always known we were never “rich”, but only now that I’m older, I’m able to truly see our financial struggles. I can now understand why when we were younger, we would move house to house living with my aunts, and most of the clothes we owned were hand-me-downs from cousins.
To ease my mother’s burdens, I try my best to ignore all my wants and save them for the future. That’s why my academics are the largest focus in my life. Focusing on my academics has never been a choice to me, although I know my mother would still be content as long as I pass my classes. For me, A’s are a requirement because I know that my academic performance can elevate me in life where I was born on the first floor.
My favorite subjects in school consist of math and history. I enjoy the certainty that comes with these subjects as there is only one correct answer. In math, we solve equations and usually there is only one answer, you either get it right, or wrong. Although the context is different, I feel the same way towards history. I feel secure knowing the past is written in stone, so as long as I know all the facts and details, my answers will be correct.
Whilst not finding much pleasure in writing, I’m a huge enthusiast of the arts. I love to read and have been doing so since I was young. Some more of my hobbies include watching movies and journaling, as it’s an easy medium for me to share my thoughts in a place nobody can see (Yes, I know I said I don’t like writing, but it’s different in my opinion). Physical activities that I enjoy are playing volleyball, as I’m currently playing on my school's team, and hiking.
To me, my hobbies are essential in life, as they provide me with a source of escapism to subdue some of my realities. There are many impediments that I’ve faced, but I know they were made to be overcome. Some of these challenges I may never beat, but I know that even if I can’t climb up the wall blocking my way, I can somehow find my way around it.